REPOST: Personal growth is not a race

This interesting article from Metro delves into the concept of personal growth. It advises people to refrain from comparing themselves to others and instead embrace their uniqueness and identify their life's purpose as a way towards happiness and fulfillment. 

(There's no timetable for coming into your own.) Image Source: metro.us

The question: Whenever I meet up with old friends from my small hometown this time of year, I always start doubting myself. I’m single and all my friends my age (30) are married with kids. I enjoy my artistic city life with my friends and I’m not even sure if I want children. How can I cope with feeling so different?

Many years ago, I accidentally killed a lily plant because I mistakenly assumed that if I stuck it in a sunny spot and watered it regularly, it would flourish like my philodendron. What I didn’t realize at the time was that my lily couldn’t handle direct sunlight.

People are a lot like plants. Although we all need the same basic ingredients to thrive — for example, love and physical sustenance — the conditions required for flourishing vary from person to person. Some plants bloom seasonally; others every few years. Similarly, many factors, including parenting, genetics, social class, culture and luck affect the timing and rhythms at which our lives unfold.

When comparing yourself to other people your own age, it’s important to remember that personal growth is not a race — it’s a lifelong organic process. Renowned Swiss psychologist Carl Jung believed that becoming one’s own person was the primary goal of human development. Besides achieving physical and mental health, he held that people who embrace their unique way of being in the world are more harmonious, mature, responsible, socially conscious and forgiving of human nature and the universe.

Many of my clients struggle with feeling different, though not necessarily about having families. Sadly, I detect a hint of shame attached to such feelings. It’s as if there is some universal cultural standard of normal, of which people think they are falling short. Sure, there are specific lifestyle trends associated with different times in our lives. Development psychologist Erik Erickson posed that each stage or chapter of our lives presents a specific challenge that, if mastered successfully, builds a person’s sense of competence, leading him or her to a new chapter with different challenges. For example, young adulthood is about establishing intimacy with others versus becoming isolated.

But there are many avenues for creating intimacy. Being in relationships and starting families is just one of them. But so is cultivating deep friendships, being part of a community and expressing oneself through creativity. My suggestion to you is as follows:

1. Figuratively speaking, think about what kind of plant you are. Ask yourself what are the conditions — the kind of environment, the types of friends, the forms of nourishment — that will help you blossom into the best version of yourself.

2. Identify your life purpose. Ask yourself what contribution you can make to the world when you’re being yourself. The world wouldn’t operate well if everyone did the same thing.

3. Let go of shame and celebrate the qualities that make you unique. Imagine how you would see yourself differently if you regarded these qualities were strengths.

4. Identify obstacles to creating more intimacy in your life. You might do this with trusted friends or a psychotherapist.

5. Find role models, people you admire, maybe even who’ve made a name for themselves, because of their uniqueness. They are in no short supply.

6. Remember, there is no one “correct” way to blossom. Marriage and children are not the only “fruit” of one’s labors, or measure of a person’s value as a human being. Each flower has its own unique beauty. Find yours and share it with the world.


Licensed psychologist Dr. Samuelle Klein Von Reiche provides life coaching to help demotivated and confused clients uncover their life's purpose. Learn more about personal transformation here.

REPOST: Know Your Why: 4 Questions To Tap The Power Of Purpose

Do you know your life's purpose? Margie Warrell writes on Forbes that while there is no single pathway for discovering your life’s purpose, there are many ways to gain deeper insight into yourself. These insights can guide you in discovering your passion and personal mission in this world.

Image Source: careerdare.com

If you’ve ever faced a significant crisis in your life you’ll have experienced the power of purpose to tap reserves of energy, determination and courage you likely didn’t know you had. Your mission was clear. Your goal was compelling. Your focus was laser-like. Your potential was tapped.

The power of purpose is similar to the energy of light focused through a magnifying glass. Diffused light has little use, but when its energy is concentrated—as through a magnifying glass—that same light can set fire to paper. Focus its energy even more, as with a laser beam, and it has the power to cut through steel. Likewise, a clear sense of purpose enables you to focus your efforts on what matters most, compelling you to take risks and push forward regardless of the odds or obstacles.

Unlike animals, which are driven simply to survive, we humans crave more from life than mere survival. Without an answer to the question ‘Survival for the sake of what?,’ we can quickly fall into disillusionment, distraction and a quiet sense of despair. The alarming increase in rates of drug and alcohol abuse, depression and suicide, along with the growing reliance on antidepressant medications, seems to indicate many are doing just that. Likewise, a quick glance at employee engagement statistics points to a crisis of purpose and meaning on an unprecedented scale. Given we’re wealthier today than at any time in history, there is clearly a marked difference between ‘well off’ and ‘well-being.’

German philosopher Frederick Nietzsche once said, ‘He who has a why can endure any how.’ Knowing your why is an important first step in figuring out how to achieve the goals that excite you and create a life you enjoy living (versus merely surviving!). Indeed, only when you know your ‘why’ will you find the courage to take the risks needed to get ahead, stay motivated when the chips are down, and move your life onto an entirely new, more challenging, and more rewarding trajectory.

Certainly this has been the experience of Tom Hale, whose company BACKROADS will top $100 million in revenue in 2014. “My passion for bringing active travel experiences to more people has driven me over the last 35 years.” In a recent interview, Tom shared with me that in the first seven years of starting BACKROADS, he put in enormous effort for little return. “Given the hours I worked, I think I was earning about 35 cents an hour,” he joked. “However, while I knew we had to make money to grow, I was never driven by the money. Once I got clear that this was my life’s work, doing something else was never an option.” Tom’s leadership of BACKROADS from a small start up to a major player in the travel industry has created an organization whose employees are as passionate about his company’s mission as he is. BACKROADS’ on-going growth – in both the range of experiences offered and the company’s bottom line profit – speaks for itself.

While there’s no one pathway for discovering your life’s purpose, there are many ways you can gain deeper insight into yourself, and a larger perspective on what it is that you have to offer the world. As I wrote in Stop Playing Safe, your ‘life’s work’ sits in the intersection of your talents, skills/expertise, passions and deepest values (see adjacent diagram). Reflect on the corresponding four questions below to help find the ‘sweet spot’ that sits in the intersection between what you care about, what you can contribute, and what will be valued most.

1. What makes you come alive?

The word inspire comes from the Latin, meaning “to breathe life into.” Accordingly when you are working toward things that inspire you, it literally makes you feel more alive. What makes you come alive isn’t referring to taking your dream holiday or watching your favorite team play football (unless you’re called to a career as a football coach or commentator!). It’s bigger than that. I’m talking about a why that moves up the food chain from being about you to being about something bigger than you. It’s about connecting with what you’re passionate about, knowing that when you focus your attention on endeavors that put a fire in your belly, you grow your impact and influence in ways that nothing else can.

You don’t have to declare at this point that you want to invent the next iPad, solve the world’s energy problems or cure cancer (though you might!). This is about you connecting to a cause that’s bigger than you are, but which is also congruent with who you are what you care about.

Image Source: magforliving.com

2. What are your innate strengths?

In The Element, Sir Ken Robinson says that our element is the point at which natural talent and skill meets personal passion. When people are in their element they are not only more productive, but they add more value and enjoy more personal and professional fulfilment. Accordingly, it’s also often where they also tend to make more money!

What are the things you’ve always been good at (sometimes wondering why others find it so hard?) Are you able to see patterns and opportunities amidst complexity? Are you creative, naturally adept at coming up with ‘outside the box’ solutions? Are you a natural born rebel with an innate ability to identify where the status quo is in need of a makeover? Are you brilliant in the details, naturally good at executing projects with a precision that some find tedious? Or are you a naturally gifted communicator, technocrat, diplomat, networker, leader, problem solver or change agent? For a free strengths survey visit http://www.viame.org

Of course, you can also be passionate about things you have no natural talent for, and talented at things for which you hold little passion. However experience has shown me that we rarely aspire toward ambitions we have no natural talent to achieve. As civil rights leader Howard Thurmon once wrote, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive, then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Indeed they do.

3. Where do you add the greatest value?

Doing work that you’re good at, but which you loathe, is not a pathway to fulfilment. That said, knowing your greatest strengths and where you can add the most value—through the application of your education, skills, knowledge and experience—can help you focus on the opportunities, roles and career paths where you are most likely to succeed and therefore find the greatest sense of accomplishment and contribution.

Too often we undervalue our strengths, skills and the expertise we naturally acquire over time. If you reframe the concept of adding value through the lens of solving problems, you can ask yourself what you’re well placed and equipped to help solve in your workplace, career, organisation or industry. You can also ask yourself what problems you really enjoy solving, and what problems you feel passionate about trying to solve. You’ll then be more successful at focusing on your natural strengths and those things you’re innately good at than trying to bolster or eliminate your weaknesses.

4. How will you measure your life?

People who don’t stand for something, can easily fall for anything. Deciding how you want to measure your life means making a stand for something and then living your life in alignment with it.

Ultimately, living with purpose means focusing on things that matter most. Ironically, the things that matter most are rarely “things.” That said, while some people are in a position to trade the security of a regular salary in order to pursue a passion, many simply can’t—at least not in the short term or without violating core values (like paying off debt or providing for their family). But following the money and following your heart don’t have to be mutually exclusive. By shifting the lens in which you view what you are doing now, you can profoundly shift your experience of it. No matter what your job, you can draw meaning from it and find greater purpose through how you do what you do. If you don’t think you’re the kind of person you’d want to work with, then consider that it may not be because of the job you do each day, but your attitude toward it.

Image Source: doyouyoga.com

Knowing your purpose may compel you to take on challenges that will stretch you as much as they inspire you. Just as a boat under power can handle any size wave if perpendicular to it, when you’re powered by a clear purpose, there is little you cannot do.


Dr. Samuelle Von Reiche is a clinical psychologist who guides her clients in discovering their personal mission and passion in life through a series of discussions and exercises inherent in life coaching process. This webpage explains how life coaching can help you uncover and fulfill your life's purpose.

REPOST: Soldier to Wal-Mart job? Mentor helps Iraq vet adjust

War veteran Monte Johnson finds relief from the trauma brought by his experience in Afghanistan and Iraq through the mentoring of fellow soldier Ed Trigg. Read this article from CNN Money for their story. 

Having a mentor can really help.

"There were so many things I had to deal with, but I didn't seem to have a lot of luck," said Monte Johnson, an Oklahoma National Guard, who returned after serving two tours of duty in Afghanistan and Iraq.

His luck changed when he landed a job at Wal-Mart and met Ed Trigg.

Trigg, a former military man himself, has worked at Wal-Mart for 23 years. He's in charge of mentoring vets who work at the retail company in his region and helping them transition into their jobs.

"As a veteran, I can relate to the new ones coming in," said Trigg, who served six years in the Army. "I want to make them feel comfortable, make sure they understand the company culture."

Johnson feels fortunate to have Trigg as a mentor, having had a rough transition into civilian life. He went for seven-and-a-half months without a job after coming back from the war zone in early 2012.

"Everything that I had worked for to get ahead was essentially destroyed when I got back," he said. "It was a heartache for me and my family."  

Ed Trigg (left) and Monte Johnson meet at least once a week at Wal-Mart. Image Source: www.cnn.com

That was until October 2012, when he landed a job in the logistics division near Wal-Mart's headquarters in Bentonville, Ark.

Getting the job was a big morale boost. A regular paycheck was a huge relief. But Johnson had to deal with a few challenges.

For someone returning from the stresses of combat, a regular eight-hour shift was already a big adjustment. He also lived several hours away in Oklahoma. So the first thing he had to do was find a place where he would live during the week, while his family continued to stay in Oklahoma.

On top of that, he had to figure out medical compensation from injuries he sustained serving abroad.

That's where Trigg came in. It helps that Trigg also works in logistics as an operations manager. He and Johnson meet at least once a week, sometimes three.

The two talk about everything from how Johnson's pregnant wife is feeling, to how he's coping while living away from his family.

He's also helped Johnson find a place to live and helped him understand how things work at Wal-Mart.

Trigg has even printed out announcements for jobs Johnson's wife could apply for, to smooth her transition once she moves to Bentonville.

"The biggest thing is that he's really helped deal with some of the stresses I have a veteran," Johnson said. "It's a great feeling knowing that I can reach out to someone who has a similar background and has faced some of the challenges that I have."

Clifton, New Jersey-based Dr. Sam Klein Von Reiche is a trusted personal transformation coach with 20 years of professional experience. She helps clients cope with their life challenges and achieve personal growth. Visit this website for more information about her practice.

REPOST: Study suggests fish oil could help protect alcohol abusers from Dementia

Researchers at the Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine found that fish oil compounds can protect alcohol-exposed brain cells against inflammation and cell death. The study is still in its infancy, but it should serve as a good stepping stone to find new remedies for dementia caused by long-term alcohol abuse.

Newswise — MAYWOOD, Il. – A Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine study suggests that omega-3 fish oil might help protect against alcohol-related dementia.

Image Source: www.kripalu.org

Previous studies have shown that long-term alcohol abuse increases the risk of dementia. The Loyola study found that in the brain cells of rats exposed to high levels of alcohol, a fish oil compound protected against inflammation and cell death.

The study by Michael A. Collins, PhD, and colleagues was reported Sept. 8 at the 14th Congress of the European Society for Biomedical Research on Alcoholism in Warsaw.

An earlier analysis by Collins and Loyola colleague Edward J. Neafsey, PhD, which pooled the results of 143 studies, found that moderate social drinking may reduce the risk of dementia and cognitive impairment. (Moderate drinking is defined as a maximum of two drinks per day for men and 1 drink per day for women.)

It appears that small amounts of alcohol might, in effect, make brain cells more fit. Alcohol in moderate amounts stresses cells and thus toughens them up to cope with major stresses down the road that could cause dementia. But too much alcohol overwhelms the cells, leading to inflammation and cell death.

Image Source: www.topnews.ae

In the new study, Collins and colleagues exposed cultures of adult rat brain cells to amounts of alcohol equivalent to more than four times the legal limit for driving. These cell cultures were compared with cultures of brain cells exposed to the same high levels of alcohol, plus a compound found in fish oil called omega-3 docosahexaenoic acid (DHA).
Researchers found there was about 90 percent less neuroinflammation and neuronal death in the brain cells exposed to DHA and alcohol than in the cells exposed to alcohol alone.

Further studies are needed to confirm whether fish oil protects against alcohol-related dementia. “Fish oil has the potential of helping preserve brain integrity in abusers,” Collins said. “At the very least, it wouldn’t hurt them.”

But Collins added that best way for an alcohol abuser to protect the brain is, if possible, to quit drinking or cut back to moderate amounts . “We don’t want people to think it’s okay to take a few fish oil capsules and then continue to go on abusing alcohol.”

Collins, principal investigator of the study, is a professor in the Department of Molecular Pharmacology and Therapeutics at Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine. Co-authors are Neafsey, Nuzhath Tajuddin, MS, and Kwan-Hoon Moon, PhD, of the Stritch School of Medicine; Kimberly Nixon, PhD, of the University of Kentucky; and Hee-Yong Kim, PhD, of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

Dr. Samuelle Klein Von Reiche studies the many facets of human behavior. Her website provides more resources on psychology and mental health.

REPOST: Did Cory Monteith Need More Care After Rehab?

Discovery News’ Paul Greenberg raised a question following the demise of young actor Cory Monteith: Would Monteith still be alive had he received follow-up care after rehab?

Image source: discovery.com

Following “Glee” star Cory Monteith’s death from a mixture of heroin and alcohol, there's renewed interest in how drug dependent individuals should re-enter society after completing treatment programs.

Monteith, who is from Canada, had struggled with substance abuse since his early teens, and had completed a drug rehab program in April. Since then he was widely photographed with his girlfriend, actress Lea Michele, at public events and on vacation in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. He died in Vancouver.

The circumstances surrounding his death are seen by some addiction experts as evidence that he needed follow-up care and monitoring.

Dr. Ravi Chandiramani, medical director at Journey Healing Centers, in Scottsdale, Ariz. and Salt Lake City, said the treatment centers with the greatest records of success are those that take a holistic approach that includes a clear focus on follow-up care.

He also suggests that individuals should seek facilities that are fully accredited and that routinely include guidance in aftercare.

“We first recommend a good percent of the time that people must leave their home environment to seek treatment, because it may be the environment that contributed to their disease,” said Chandiramani.

“But as important as the treatment itself is, there must be a strong relapse prevention program and good aftercare planning during the time the individual is getting grounded in their sobriety. In Cory’s case there was probably not adequate time away from the environment that fostered his addiction. That could mean he simply did not have the required expertise with the tools he needed to recover.”

Monteith, 31, who had previously been through treatment for drug abuse when he was 19, completed the most recent stint on April 28. He then immediately left for the Mexican vacation with Michele.

The lack of follow-up care and monitoring may have contributed to Monteith’s death, but some experts lay the blame squarely at the doorway of the treatment facilities.

While it is not known what facility Monteith used, Dr. Carl Hart, author of “High Price: A Neuroscientists Journey of Self-Discovery that Challenges Everything You Know about Drugs and Society,” said simple ignorance may have played a part in Monteith’s death.

“He didn’t die because he was using heroin,” said Hart, a professor of psychology at Columbia University and substance abuse research scientist at the New York State Psychiatric Institute, as well as a member of the National Advisory Council on Drug abuse.

“He died because he combined it with alcohol. In treatment programs, people sometimes do not get the proper education. The 28-day approach to drug rehab is ignorant because when people are addicted to drugs they have problems, but we act as though the drug is their problem. There are problems in their life in general, even without that drug, but often in treatment professionals act as if the drug is the whole problem.”

Monteith’s drug use reportedly began after his parents divorced. When he became a public figure, he was open about his ongoing struggle with drugs. While his family, girlfriend and colleagues are all reported to have been fully supportive of his efforts to recover, Chandiramani believes that those who comprised his support system needed to be involved in his treatment and recovery.

“The ideal would be to have had those family members integrated into the treatment process,” he said. “They typically are given fundamental education on the disease of addiction, along with information on relapse prevention."

"Individuals in the spotlight like Cory find themselves overcompensating when they leave treatment so they don’t lose their fame, credibility or opportunity for additional success. That puts more pressure on them, and often they don’t get the foundation of recovery that they need to build on before they jump head first right back into their previous environment.”

Dr. Samuelle Klein Von Reiche is a psychotherapist from Clifton, New Jersey. Learn more about her expertise from her official website.

REPOST: Stress Can Boost Good Habits Too

Many people may not realize it but there is a silver lining to experiencing stress. Maia Szalavitz of TIME discusses a study about this on this article:

(UPDATED) Under stress, we all tend to seek comfort — sometimes in not-so-healthy ways — but a new study suggests that challenging experiences are as likely to promote good habits as they are to support bad ones.

In several different experiments, researchers including* Wendy Wood, a professor of psychology and business at the University of Southern California, found that under various types of stress, all types of habits got stronger — not just the ones that cause trouble.

“When your willpower is low and you have little motivational energy, you are likely to fall back into old, bad habits of eating too much and not exercising — but only if those are, in fact, your habits,” says Wood. “Our novel finding is that people fall back into good habits in just the same way.” The study was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Stress depletes willpower; indeed, the brain is wired so that extreme stress actually shuts down the higher regions involved in long-term planning and thoughtful consideration. That’s because those functions are superfluous when survival is at stake. When under threat, the brain relies on faster, more primitive regions whose behavior is largely automatic under such circumstances. Automatic doesn’t mean built-in, however: many of our automatic behaviors, like riding a bike or eating french fries when feeling anxious, become automatic through repetition.

“People can’t make decisions easily when stressed, are low in willpower or feeling overwhelmed,” Wood says. “These pressures limit our capacity to make decisions.” The default in those cases is to engage in habitual behavior, so, she says, “When you are too tired to make a decision, you tend to just repeat what you usually do.” And it doesn’t matter what that habit is.

The new research involved various types of habits and stresses. In one experiment, 65 UCLA students were followed for 10 weeks and asked about their breakfast and news-reading habits. During the first few weeks, they recorded how often they ate foods that they considered healthy, such as cold cereal, hot cereal and health bars. They also reported on their intake of what they labeled as unhealthy breakfast selections, including pastries, pancakes and French toast. In addition, they detailed whether they regularly read educational news sections like local and national news, or lighter fare like advice columns and comics.

The scientists gathered this data over several weeks, measuring how strong the students’ breakfast and news habits were at times when they weren’t facing stressful exams like midterms and finals. Later, they compared these choices with those made during exam periods.

And indeed, those who had strong habits — either healthy or unhealthy — engaged in those behaviors more when they felt stressed by exam periods. Whether it was eating French toast or health bars more regularly or reading news that they felt was important or a guilty pleasure, habitual behaviors increased under stress.

 

Image Source: time.com

A second experiment involved 72 students at Duke University. This time, they were asked to specify goals they were hoping to achieve, such as improving grades or fitness. They also detailed particular behaviors they engaged in regularly to reach their goals, as well as behaviors that might get in the way.

For two of the four days of the study, they were randomly assigned to try to perform as much of their daily behavior as reasonably possible using their nondominant hand. This task tends to deplete self-control because it requires inhibiting a strong habit. Once again, this stressful experience increased habitual behavior — whether it worked toward or against the students’ goals.

Another experiment, this one including 164 UCLA students who tracked their study skills, found that those with the lowest levels of self-control were most likely to have strong habits, but it wasn’t clear whether having less self-control led people to engage in more habitual behavior in the first place or whether relying more on habit reduces self-control.

“Our data show that stress and low willpower increased performance of both good and bad habits,” Wood says. “And this happened following all kinds of events that drain willpower — taking exams, completing difficult mental tasks, trying to perform everyday activities in an unusual way. Even people with chronically low levels of willpower and self-control relied more on habits.”

So why does it seem that only bad habits emerge when we face the cauldron of stress? Wood says it’s a matter of attention. “We don’t notice so much when we fall back into good habits — these are the ones that are working for us to meet our goals, and so they aren’t problematic. It’s the bad habits we focus on, and thus people are more aware of falling back into bad habits when their willpower is low.” The bad habits stand out more, in other words, because they tend to derail us from achieving our goals.

The findings may prove useful for reinforcing good habits that we cultivate to help our health. But that requires taking the time to establish these healthy behaviors before a challenging situation strikes. If you want your default to be to exercise when you stress out — rather than reaching for a doughnut — you have to hit the gym repeatedly.

“Getting enough exercise, eating right, getting enough sleep, not smoking — all of these should become an unthinking, automatic part of your day,” Wood says. “If they are, then you will continue to perform them even when your willpower is low and you can’t muster the energy to ‘do the right thing’ for your health.” The fact that habits are hard to break can work for you or against you.

Visit this Facebook page for Dr. Sam Klein Von Reiche for more updates on related topics.

Death by soda addiction: The Natasha Harris case

Image source: grist.wordpress.com

A mother of eight, Natasha Harris succumbed to cardiac arrhythmia, or as science would put it lightly, the irregular beating of the heart. Three years after her untimely death, coroner David Crerar concluded that the sugar and caffeine she had obtained from soda addiction when she was still alive played a big role in putting her heartbeat to a sudden halt.

Image source: onsugar.com

Soda addiction is no longer new to addiction specialists. But many individuals are still unaware of its fatal effects. In the medical field, food and drinks—or any substance for that matter–become addictive when a person suffers from withdrawal symptoms after not consuming or choosing to stop taking the food or substance they are dependent on. Harris’ husband admitted that his wife suffered from retching, if not vomiting, and she would get moody if she did not have her favorite soda. However, her family never thought of soda as “deadly,” and the brand of the soda she used to drink has no health warning on its bottles.

Image source: treatment4addiction.com

The soda company’s answer to the case was very reasonable: anything that is taken in excess is certainly not good for the health. Conversely, the coroner assigned to the case said that even though sugar and caffeine’s capacity to be considered fatal remains a debatable idea, the soda brand still needs to be responsible for not emphasizing the hazards of taking its product excessively.

Image source: Bloomberg

But if there is something to be had from Harris’ case, it is learning how to control the urge to eat or drink more than what’s enough.


Dr. Samuelle Klein Von Reiche is a psychotherapist based in Clifton, New Jersey. Her website provides more information on how to recover from any kind of addiction.

REPOST: From Sleep Study, Clues to Happiness

Much study has been done on the cause and source of happiness. Now, it seems sleep may hold important clues to the main emotion most people wish to experience while awake.

Image source: New York Times

A little over a decade ago, scientists discovered that narcolepsy, the neurological disorder that leads to episodes of irresistible sleepiness, is caused by the loss of brain cells that produce hypocretin, a neurotransmitter that promotes wakefulness.

But the discovery did not shed light on two other mysterious problems associated with the disorder. Narcoleptics have profoundly high rates of depression — up to six times the rate in the general population — and they have a tendency to collapse when swept by some emotions, a phenomenon known as cataplexy.

Now research shows that in addition to regulating sleep, hypocretin also appears to govern emotion, particularly experiences of joy and happiness.

The study has implications that extend beyond narcolepsy. It suggests that the brain has several different arousal systems, and that one of them, driven by hypocretin, has the specific function of keeping people awake for pleasure.

It also raises concerns that drugs that block hypocretin could potentially cause depression and other unexpected side effects. One such medication, a sleeping pill from Merck called suvorexant that works by blocking hypocretin, essentially causing narcolepsy for a night, is awaiting government approval.

The new research, published this month in the journal Nature Communications, involved a small group of patients with epilepsy who had special electrodes implanted in their brains that could directly monitor seizure activity and hypocretin levels around the clock.

“Apart from their seizure disorder, these patients were normal,” said Dr. Jerome Siegel of the V.A. greater Los Angeles Healthcare System, the study leader and a psychiatry professor at U.C.L.A. “They’re watching TV, they’re talking to their relatives, walking around the hospital, going to the bathroom. They’re not mentally handicapped in any way, and we are observing them with video and periodically asking them to complete forms indicating how they feel – whether they’re happy or sad, hungry or thirsty, in pain or not.”

Dr. Siegel, along with graduate student Ashley Blouin and their colleagues, expected to find that the ebb and flow of hypocretin mirrored the sleep cycle, rising in the morning and falling at night.

“But what we found was more complex,” Dr. Siegel said. “The maximal release of hypocretin was not really related to arousal in the usual way. It happened during waking for sure, but the maximal release was simply when people reported they were happy.”

The findings showed that hypocretin levels surged when the patients experienced joy and pleasure – while watching a favorite team win a baseball game, for example, or spending time with family. But when they experienced pain from their surgical implant, or anxiety about their medical situation, their levels of hypocretin fell.

Dr. Siegel has shown in animal studies that hypocretin is associated with reward-seeking behavior. Release a dog into a yard to run, dig and play, and its hypocretin levels soar. But force the same dog to run on a treadmill, and its hypocretin levels remain flat. Similarly, hypocretin levels fall when mice are forced to press a bar to escape an unpleasant shock, but spike when the same animals press a bar to obtain food.

“This shows that hypocretin is related to a particular kind of arousal,” said Dr. Siegel. “There is an arousal system in the brain whose function is keeping you awake for pleasure, to get rewards. It is related to positive affect, and in its absence you have a deficit in pleasure seeking.”

In narcoleptics, cataplexy is most frequently caused by sudden joy. It is not uncommon to see someone with narcolepsy abruptly lose all muscle tone and collapse when laughing.

But in some ways, we can all relate.

“In almost every culture there’s an expression equivalent to falling down with laughter,” Dr. Siegel said. “Normal individuals don’t actually fall down. They may brace themselves or sit down. But narcoleptics will feel weak and unable to speak. In some instances they’ll fall down and won’t be able to get up for a few minutes.”

In most people, laughter causes a surge of hypocretin, which maintains muscle tone. But in narcoleptics, the hormone is largely absent, and the system goes haywire.

In narcoleptics, the loss of this pleasure-seeking hormone has severe effects on mood. Narcoleptics are prone to depression, and they have a strange resistance to addiction. Some of the medications used to treat narcolepsy are notoriously addictive, like amphetamines and GHB, the so-called date-rape drug. Yet narcoleptics generally do not abuse them.

“They’re missing this working-for-pleasure system,” Dr. Siegel said. “When hypocretin is missing, you have a deficit in getting addicted and a deficiency in getting interested in things — that’s what depression is.”

So, could a sleep aid like suvorexant, which reduces hypocretin, lead to depression in a healthy person? In clinical trials involving thousands of patients, the drug helped people with insomnia fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer than placebo. And there were no signs that it induced depression or caused falls resembling cataplexy, said Dr. Darryle Schoepp, senior vice president at Merck.

“We had to measure psychiatric mood, including depression,” he said, “and we didn’t see anything worrisome there.”

But Dr. Siegel said it is too soon to say that tinkering with hypocretin will not create unwanted consequences.

“The initial reports are rosy,” he said. “But they come from a drug company with an enormous investment. And there is a long list of drugs acting on the brain whose severe problems were only identified after millions of people were taking them.”

Follow this Twitter account for more tips about living happy from Dr. Samuelle Klein Von Reiche.

On May-December affair: When age is just a number

For a nation that is numbed by everyday May-December showbiz affair scenarios on TV and on the Web, it is strange to hear of some Americans who still view this kind of relationship inacceptable, if not repugnant.
But whether “age-gap” relationships are widely accepted or not these days, a more realistic fact arises: there will always be couples with differences in years and generations that would want to give the relationship a try.

The reason: most people know that a relationship’s longevity, strength, and depth are not determined by years that separate the ages of the two persons involved in it.

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The role of open communication

The gap that may ensue from a large age difference may form when the two individuals involved in the relationship start highlighting each other’s interests. Perhaps the common scenario is when one wants to party all night while the other just wants to stay in bed and read a good book or when one craves wine while the other, chocolate. The solution: they should talk openly about their interests and, for the benefit of each other, do some of them together.

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Open communication narrows down a couple’s gap on each other’s respective orientation on things. Indeed, the issue of religion, sex, financial handling, political belief, or raising a child may affect a May-December affair. But being open beats everything. It also helps a couple find strength and comfort from each other when everyone seems to question their love, the years between them.

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Dr. Samuelle Klein Von Reiche is a New Jersey-based therapist whose expertise includes couples therapy.

When couples play the innuendo game

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“Two people can sleep in the same bed and still be alone when they shut their eyes.”— Haruki Murakami

Perhaps the Japanese writer is right. Perhaps these words are the product of one common scenario in a home that houses a couple who hasn’t talked straightforwardly and honestly for a long time. These are couples who begin and end their day with innuendo, with ambiguous remarks, and with never-ending silence.

Why do such things happen?

Maybe it is just natural for two breathing entities to end up feeling confined by the idea of being with the same person every day: same answers, same opinions on things, same old thoughts—nothing new. Maybe it is just human nature that reminds them apiece that seeing the same face over and over again on a daily basis is a perfect way to feel cloyed and annoyed. It is possible that humans are basically just human beings, imperfect, hard to please, and always looking for something new.

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Space

It is a cliché, but every relationship needs one. Sometimes, giving the nightly sleeping together in one bed a break can help, and not seeing each other during meal time is fine, too. However, that “space” should not be an expansive and sprawling one; couples have to be sure that it is just a “gap,” a brief and momentary truce from speaking. Otherwise, if they fail to reconcile each other’s differences through communicating each other’s opinions and feelings, the “gap” will turn into a “chasm.”

A lot of times, it is all about rekindling the friendship that binds the relationship. How would they do it?

Simple: by talking.

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Dr. Samuelle Klein Von Reiche is a New Jersey-based therapist. This Facebook page provides links to articles on related topics.