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“Two people can sleep in the same bed and still be alone when they shut their eyes.”— Haruki Murakami
Perhaps the Japanese writer is right. Perhaps these words are the product of one common scenario in a home that houses a couple who hasn’t talked straightforwardly and honestly for a long time. These are couples who begin and end their day with innuendo, with ambiguous remarks, and with never-ending silence.
Why do such things happen?
Maybe it is just natural for two breathing entities to end up feeling confined by the idea of being with the same person every day: same answers, same opinions on things, same old thoughts—nothing new. Maybe it is just human nature that reminds them apiece that seeing the same face over and over again on a daily basis is a perfect way to feel cloyed and annoyed. It is possible that humans are basically just human beings, imperfect, hard to please, and always looking for something new.
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Space
It is a cliché, but every relationship needs one. Sometimes, giving the nightly sleeping together in one bed a break can help, and not seeing each other during meal time is fine, too. However, that “space” should not be an expansive and sprawling one; couples have to be sure that it is just a “gap,” a brief and momentary truce from speaking. Otherwise, if they fail to reconcile each other’s differences through communicating each other’s opinions and feelings, the “gap” will turn into a “chasm.”
A lot of times, it is all about rekindling the friendship that binds the relationship. How would they do it?
Simple: by talking.
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Dr. Samuelle Klein Von Reiche is a New Jersey-based therapist. This Facebook page provides links to articles on related topics.
